Tuesday, August 25, 2015

The Not-So-Fantastic Four

At Wizard World Comic Con in Chicago last week, a cosplay friend of mine who prefers to remain anonymous got majorly recognized. He said something very direct that all the Marvel Fans Who Despise the Latest Fantastic Four movie agreed with.

His photo hit Twitter and then it got re-tweeted immediately. In two hours he got over 2,000 Likes.

His cosplay? Like some Biblical prophet in the wilderness, he dressed as a member of that gallant classic group of heroes, covering himself head to foot with a shameful paper sack over his head and held up a sign for all the people to see.

"SELL US BACK TO MARVEL"

Note that: not "Give Us Back" - that would never, in a million years happen. These rights are worth millions of dollars. No, wisely he wrote "Sell Us Back to Marvel."

That has a chance. That could happen. Especially since the movie did so badly financially and critically [worst opening ever for any Marvel film, 8% rating on Rotten Tomatoes], that it will lose near $60 million.

Marvel decided months ago, as problems in production mounted to stop selling the very comic book and pulled down all the posters of the beloved original family created by Jack Kirby with Stan Lee's kind and generous applause. [That last was a snark, obviously. You're smart enough to figure it out. Let's move on.]

The film is so despised that Marvelites are even watching the poorly-made under-budgeted Roger Corman FF film of 1994 online instead of seeing this modern monstrosity.

The problem with the 1994 film and this one in 2105 is one and the same. They were not made to please the fans or to tell a great story as much as to keep the rights and not let them revert back to Marvel for lack of use. This little tactic annoys me to no end, but I'll refrain. Legally, Marvel could do nothing and the fans could do nothing.

But great has been the outcry, and there is hope there will be redemption.

And folks, this is not the first time a cool super family has been legally screwed over and needing someone to come in to redeem them.

That is precisely what happened in Genesis 3, fanboys.

We screwed up. We were awesome, god-like beings who gave up our rights by listening to a liar. The moment we ingested that fruit of good AND evil, we got growing in evil.

That is why God kicked us out. Not to punish us for disobeying, but to stop the process from getting worse.  
22 Then the Lord God said, “Behold, the man has become like one of us in knowing good and evil. Now, lest he reach out his hand and take also of the tree of life and eat, and live forever—” 

Forever stained. Forever fearful. Forever under the power of evil.
23 therefore the Lord God sent him out from the garden of Eden to work the ground from which he was taken. 24 He drove out the man, and at the east of the garden of Eden he placed the cherubim and a flaming sword that turned every way to guard the way to the Tree of Life.

[Geek Mind: I imagine "flaming sword" as a red 'saber, btw.]

We read the Bible wrongly, and we mischaracterize God over and over.

God didn't tell us the names of the animals, He "brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name." [Gen 2:19]

We had a huge "garden" wilderness that was more a like a national park than your grandma's backyard [it was bounded by four rivers, guys.] We had it great. We were like gods, with perfect bodies in a perfect environment.

But we lost it. We traded safety, relationship and authority for some knowledge of evil.

So now what do we do? Cry for help.

We need to ask for a redeemer. We need to admit we screwed up, that we gave our rights away, and our story is just getting worse.

You know Who I mean, don't you?

Jesus, boyo. Jesus.

Put a sack on your head and wear a sign if you need to, but ask the redeemer to buy you back.

I shudder to think how your story will end without him.

Amen.

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