In July 2009 I attended the "Make Us One" Exodus International Freedom Conference at Wheaton College. It was a conference for men and women, friends and families of those who have entered a homosexual lifestyle.
I stood side-by-side with men and women who had previously defined themselves by their sexual attraction and now defined themselves by what God's Word declares. That is, they left the gay or lesbian lifestyle with great help from God and were walking in the freedom to chose whom they would be.
One speaker shared the very heart of this conference: when asked if he considered himself "ex-gay" he replied "No. I consider myself a son of God."
We are made new in Christ -and that means heterosexual sinners leave behind what they used to do and homosexual sinners leave behind what they used to do.
They leave it at the cross of Christ.
While I never had to struggle very hard with 'same-sex attraction', I have experienced the shame of a lack of masculine identity - and I had some very close friends who did enter into a gay lifestyle. I watched a co-worker die of AIDs, and I found out my high school buddy had a near-brush with suicide due to a break up with his lover and some bad meds.
The horrific alienation that happens when someone 'outs' is soul-destroying for most men and women. Sadly, they have this core desire [love] that is not being met and then when they seek to meet it - in a venue commonly accepted by the world - i.e. sexual love - they often find themselves even further disenfranchised.
There is pain and anger and unmet needs. The solution is to meet the needs legitimately in love and it will need a nearly unconditional love at that. But fallen humans cannot provide that. A sexual partner cannot fill the soul - but rather give some temporary relief. I speak now from my sorry past as a heterosexual.
The answer for both homo and hetero is the same: Jesus Christ, lover of our souls.
I have been called a homo in High School - and some buds thought I might be gay like they were - but the fact was I was a Momma's boy - a bit too close to her, trying to meet her emotional needs while my dad was at work on the road.
My older brother was abusive at my lack of 'manliness.' The less said about him, the better.
So I got very close to that community with a friend who was a transsexual and a bi-sexual ex-wife - and now, ironically, I find myself on the 'other side', vilified by accepting God's Word as true: homosexuality is a sin.
But so is fornication. So what stopped me from engaging in my sin? Jesus. And a decision that my desires for women were NOT going to overcome my obedience to God.
Did I do it perfectly the moment Christ was revealed to me? Absolutely not.
Did I learn to walk carefully and circumspectly once I realized the pain I was causing?
Yes. It took some time and a massive loss, but yes.
So there is hope for anyone who wishes to be a Christ-follower. It takes receiving grace and asking for help. It takes some real soul-searching as to Who will we trust.
The following video was shown at this conference, a song about a homosexual man who was now with woman. I was blown away by this Italian artist and what he sang so profoundly about our sexual nature - beyond religious rituals and scientific analysis he saw that the problem was in his heart.
It's in Italian, so I chose this smaller version because it has English subtitles. (I'm sure it is even more stunning for those who can understand Italian and its nuances.)
Please watch and consider "Luca Era Gay":
If you want to know more about how to be a Christ-follower yet struggle with same-sex attraction, please go to Sy Rogers site on the right. His story is simply amazing.
And may God bless you my dear brothers and sisters. We are one, and I pray God's grace on you.