Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Reverend Justice -and a Free Koran BBQ

Sorry I didn't blog yesterday, dear reader but I was a bit busy.

I went to pick up my certificate of ordination after dropping my landlady off at work and then, if that wasn't enough, I went on to help set up dinner and bless the food at the Billy Graham Center Telephone Ministry later that evening - I had to lead the prayer room after that.

Doesn't that sound delightfully holy and noble of me?

Let me set you straight: I ain't holy. God is holy. Jesus is holy. The Holy Spirit is holy.

And by virtue of the fact that I became a Christian, He very kindly decided to live in me.

"Which He?" you might ask. Sorry to sound mystical, but all three actually. They work together in collusion and I am the recipient of their beneficience. In other words, I just get to move around and let the Trinity do something with me. In this case, get ordained, help set up food - (which just means carrying three heavy things for ladies who cannot lift them), and in front of everyone talk to my heavenly Father.

I am the first to realize a title does not make you "holy". In fact, if I were not already doing the job by the power of the Holy Spirit, I shouldn't have been ordained. (Its strange how it works in real life. You get working for Jesus and, after eight to ten years, someone ordains you.)

I wouldn't have even asked for it, except my earthly Dad asked when I was going to do it. (And I thought I might look rally spiffy in some new duds - see photo at the top? THAT'S what I'm talkin' about!)

Now, you also need to know, you too can be ordained if you are a serious Christian by the folks at . For a donation of $48 you can get an honorary Doctorate of Divinity. That's be nice to have, don't you think?

"The Reverend Doctor Justice Carmon."

Oh, yeah, baby.


I've been teaching for years, and the pastor who is ordaining me has years of physical and spiritual warfare under his belt. In fact, I have been filling in for him at the jail because of health issues he has had. He is a fine brother in Christ, and we both know this is a formality, 'cause of what Jesus said (I replace "rabbi" with "reverend" because it is the equivalent; same with "teacher" and "doctor"):

From Matthew 23:5-12 (NIV)
"Everything they do is done for men to see: They make their ['prayer boxes'] and the tassels on their garments long; they love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; they love to be greeted in the marketplaces and to have men call them ['Reverend.']

"But you are not to be called ['Reverend,'] for you have only one [revered Lord] you are all brothers. And do not call anyone on earth 'father,' for you have one Father, and He is in heaven. Nor are you to be called ['Doctor of Divinity,'] for you have one [Doctor of Divinity], the Christ. The greatest among you will be your servant.

"For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted."

And that says it all kids.

If you really know Jesus, you can minister. You don't need a man or an organization to ordain you. That's for the government and them religious folk. For those who want recognition.

Still, I'm such a card I'll prolly get some other titles sooner or later so I can cause trouble anywhere I go. I'm like that.

"Who are you, mister....?"
"Reverend Carmon."
"Oh, sorry, Rev..."


But the irony is I got ordained by God the day I decided to serve Him and Him alone. I was given a supernatural revelation of what scripture meant and began teaching others what God showed me.

And Jesus? He's my brother. I think of that less and less as a metaphor now. He's very kind to me, you know. He loves me and hugs me and says "Don't do that." And I say "awwww, c'mon..."

"We love Him because He first loved us." Amen.

We do it all out of love for Jesus. No other reason suffices.

Oh - I almost forgot.

Yesterday, someone hung a Koran on my door. The neat and personable notecard said it was the very Words of God. I checked and found all the references in it that said Jesus [Isa] wasn't the son of God and that He was just a prophet. That He did not even die on the cross.

Crud, even the Romans weren't that stupid.

They wanted me to return it if I did not want it.

I took it out back and burned it.

I got my work cut out for me. Last thing I need to do is save some Muslims money so they can damn another soul.

It was quite a day, I assure you.

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